August 17, 2009

Not My Nana Monday

Today is NOT Brianna's fourteenth birthday. We are NOT having a special NOT Me Monday in her honor.

There are absolutely NO memorable moments from raising my second born daughter.

She was NOT born prematurely after four months of bed rest and hospitalizations. It was NOT a difficult and complicated delivery. She was NOT born blue, but quickly resuscitated. While I was expecting her I did NOT think that there was NO way I could ever love her as much as I did my first born, Kaitlin. And the instant she was born, my heart did NOT double so that I could love her every bit as much. I did NOT think she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.

She was NOT jaundiced. So there was NO reason to set her in the window to sun, naked.

When she was a few weeks old, Allen was NOT changing her diaper when the shelf above her changing table did NOT fall on top of her head. I was NOT away from home for the first time since her birth when this happened. He was a calm and collected father and he did NOT panic. This was NOT before the dawn of cell phones so he did NOT spend hours worrying about what damage he did. NOR did he look like he had been hit by a car when I returned home. He was NOT almost in tears as he told me the story.

At three months old, Brianna did NOT develop chronic ear infections that would keep her in pain and on antibiotics for the next 15 months. During that time she did NOT sleep every night on my shoulder in the rocking chair to relieve the pain. I did NOT love every minute of it. At 18 months she did NOT have surgery which did NOT instantly correct the problem. At which time she did NOT become the sweetest and most content baby in the world.

Brianna did NOT develop a habit of biting everyone and everything and definitely NOT the cat.

She was NOT almost bald until her third birthday.

NOR was she a precious child to everyone who came in contact with her.

NOR did she love 101 Dalmatians.

When she was potty training my Brianna did NOT pee on the floor of Staples. And Pa and I definitely did NOT leave as quickly as possible before someone realized it was our child who did it.

When Brianna was NOT three years old, Allen did NOT buy the girls ice cream cones. And then they did NOT fool around for a while and we did NOT have to go. Allen did NOT tell them that they had one minute and they every minute after that he was NOT going to take a bite of their ice cream. After one minute he did NOT take a bite of Brianna's ice cream. She then did NOT stuff the entire cone in her mouth so that he would NOT take another bite.

And, while we are NOT speaking of ice cream, when Brianna was five, she was NOT eating an ice cream cone for dessert when she did NOT do a back flip off the dining room chair NOR did she NOT land back on her bum on the chair and NOT lose one drip of ice cream. All those dancing lessons did NOT pay off that well.

Brianna did NOT fall of the jungle gym and break her arm. And I did NOT tell her that she should get right back on the horse so she would NOT be afraid. She did NOT obey her mother and fall again. And when she did NOT fall the second time she did NOT break her arm again. The orthopedic specialist was NOT amazed that she did NOT make one peep as two grown men twisted and set her arm with NO pain medication. She did NOT love the fact that she got a purple cast that matched her favorite purple clogs. And while her arm was NOT in a cast in the middle of August, I did NOT take her to visit a friend in South Carolina. And while we were NOT there, we did NOT go to a family reunion. And while we were NOT at the family reunion I did NOT give her permission to go swimming if she did NOT get her cast wet. She did NOT fall into the lake and subsequently get her cast wet. Two days later there was NOT a revolting odor coming from her arm. When we took her to the hospital, her arm was NOT covered in a fungal growth. OOPS! I would NEVER be responsible for causing my six year old so much discomfort. I do NOT still feel guilty about the whole deal eight years later.

When Brianna was eight years old we did NOT look out the back window to see her standing naked under the clothesline trying to hang her bathing suit.

Brianna did NOT overcome dyslexia to develop a love for reading. Nor did she overcome the challenges to become a very talented pianist.

Brianna's favorite color is NOT purple. And she did NOT choose the Baltimore Ravens as her football team based solely on that.

Brianna is NOT a good cook. She is NOT funny as all get out. She is NOT a prize winning seamstress. NOR is she a wonderful artist.

Brianna is NOT a joy to be around. She does NOT love her God. She is NOT a servant to her family. She is NOT a blessing to all her know her.

And on this day, I would NEVER wish her the happiest of days yet.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


  1. Brianna is NOT the most talented, sweetest, prettiest birthday girl. She does not have a sweet mom that takes the time to recognize all that God has blessed her with. No, not at all. I'm not wishing her a very happy 14th birthday either. I just wouldn't do that.

  2. Happy birthday to Brianna! What a great way to tell about her and what a wonderful young lady she is becoming. I love all the pictures! And what a dramatic entrance into the world she made. And those poor ears. I can't imaging such a long time waiting for tubes. Poor mama, too. Hope you have a wonderful time celebrating today.
    God bless Brianna!

  3. She is beautiful...I particularly love the naked child hanging her bathing suit on the close line innocent! Blessings, andrea

    PS: Prayer request on arise 2 write

  4. What a beautiful, blessing she is! Happy birthday Brianna!

  5. Happy Birthday Brianna! I will have to go tell her myself. I am sure this is NOT going to be her favorite "Not Me" post ever! It is NOT mine!
    and she absolutely is NOT BEAUTIFUL! Absolutely NOT!

  6. You are BLESSED! Love the blog and LOVE the big family :)

  7. This is Not a beautiful post for your daughter and I do Not share a birthday with a girl who seems like a fantastic kid! Happy Birthday!

  8. Kat,

    This was NOT a priceless tribute to a daughter, Brianna that you do NOT have. You obviously do NOT love her and do NOT wish her the bestest birthday ever!

    Thank you for NOT sharing this will all of us. I am NOT glad we met and looking forward to NOT becoming great friends. Thank you for NOT introducing me to your wonderful family.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  9. Thank you so much Mom! Let me try now. I do NOT have the best Mom ever, She does NOT speak to highly of me, And I do NOT love ya!
    Love Ya ♥
    p.s. is this the present you were talking about???

  10. Just stopping by. What a nice post for your daughter! I enjoyed reading it. Blessings, Kathy

  11. Happy Birthday to Brianna!!! Fun reading more about her. :)

  12. What a beautiful post! Happy Birthday to your daughter.

  13. Happy, Happy Birthday Nana! The picture right across from Elizabeth looks just like her! You are a pretty young lady inside and out!

  14. Happy bday to your beautiful girl. I can't wait to have memories like these. Being a mommy is the best job in the whole world!

  15. Happy Birthday Brianna! What a great and fun post to write about your daughter. I love it.

  16. Wow, that was quite a NOT ME MONDAY! Happy birthday to Brianna.

    Thanks for your kind words. Thanks again for the award.

    Have a fun Tuesday!!

  17. Oh what a gorgeous photo of Brianna! LOVE that new one. Goodness, her curls are just beautiful!!!! Lucky girl. =0)