April 12, 2010

Making Their Way...

...But Not Fast Enough!

With the weather warming up, the stink bugs are, at long last, beginning to make their way outside.  But not fast enough to suit some people around here.  Namely, my good husband.

Some husbands fish.  Some husbands go camping.  Some husbands play cards with the guys.  Some husbands play pool.  Some husbands hunt wild game.  That's my Allen.  He hunts. 

But not deer.  Not coon.  Not pigeon.  Or bear.  Nor fox.  No, not my husband.

But he is just as fierce as any big game hunter as we get ready for bed at night.  He peeks behind the curtains, looks under the pillows and peers behind the bed, snatching up his prey and with a quick flush, sends them to their doom via the old American Standard.  Every few minutes he reports the new total for the night's catch to me.  Last evening it was 23 in all!

Yes, with the weather turning warmer the old stink bugs are making their way back outside for the season, but not nearly fast enough for some people.

Allen is sick of finding them nesting in his socks.  He is a little tired of waking from a good sleep when one dives in and hits him smack in the face.  My sweet, even-tempered hubby is a little irritated at the unwelcome guests landing in his drink.  We have taken to using cups with lids so as not to swallow a bug when we wake during the night for a sip of water.

In fact, two years ago we had to replace the drop down steps to the attic.  It seems the ones they sell these days are slightly smaller than the ones that were being manufactured in the early 70's when our house was built.  We were left with a small crack around the perimeter of the opening.  We have spent the last two years debating how to close the gap which causes heat to flood the boys' room in summer and cold air throughout the winter months.

This afternoon, Allen pulled out a can of insulating foam and went to work sealing the opening for all eternity.  I commented that it was good planning to take care of that before the upcoming air conditioning season.  That's when he admitted to me, his diligence had nothing to do with energy cost, but rather that when the girls were in the attic, they happened to mention that there were millions of stink bugs up there.   

Yes, my brave soldier has declared war on the critters.  Even after a long day of travel, he can not be deterred from his task when he returns home from work and begins tossing the bugs out the door on their proverbial keisters.

On the other hand, some people (namely Nathaniel), still consider the little pests friends.  He gets quite upset when we toss one in the commode.  In order to alleviate his shrieks of objection I reminded him about the scene in "Finding Nemo"  when the fish were trying to get flushed by the dentist.  It went like this.

"Nathaniel, do you remember in Nemo when the fish wanted to get flushed?  Do you remember WHY they wanted to be flushed?"

At this point someone tries to boost my position a little by piping in.  "All drains lead to the ocean."  Never mind that our drains lead to the septic tank in our back yard.

Well, don't you think they would be happier out there than being hunted by Elisabeth in our house?

I mean you

I'm talking to YOU!  

Well, I do anyway.  In fact, I think they believe they are headed to Club Med.  They actually do the backstroke in the commode.  No, I am NOT kidding.  They swim while waiting for the flush that comes when Allen is at last certain he has gathered them all from our inner sanctuary for the night.

Now, you might wonder, "How much more can this family actually go on about those little bugs?"  Well, I will tell you, if you think you've heard the last of it, you are wrong.  Because that is NOT all. 

Listen to this.  A few weeks ago, I mentioned how Elisabeth has finally gotten over her fear of the little nuisances since she discovered how much fun it is to flush them.  She gleefully hunts them down and instead of her screech of fear we have suffered through since October, she now lets out a gleeful squeal as she runs to the bathroom shouting, "I flush!"

Yes, the stink bugs are making their way outside again, but Elisabeth will not be deterred from her new favorite past time.  We were on the playground the other morning when Ellie took off running toward the basement door.  What do you think she was saying as she scurried along on her fat little legs?  "I flush!  I flush!"  Yes, that is right.  She is now catching the stink bugs and taking them back into the house so she can flush them!

The stink bugs are indeed making their way back outside, and around here that means something a little different for everyone.


  1. We don't have stinkbugs here. And from what I read...I'm glad we don't!

    By the way: my husband doesn't fish, or hunt, or etc... But, if there is something that needs attending to..he's right there! And let me tell you, he'd be there attending to stink bugs!

    Blessing on your week.

  2. We need the Wachters down here!!!!! :P We have stink bugs by the dozens. As my sister and I have observed, they really are some of the stupidest bugs in all the world (in the real sense of the word: unintelligent, witless, etc.) :) Watching them bang around the chandelier, the window panes or just flying around in uneven circles is actually kinda funny. :) BUT, we still want them gone!

  3. argh! stink bugs. we have them in WI and down here.. annoying little buggers! happy hunting! :)

  4. Kat,

    Thank goodness this is not something we have to deal with here. Why is it so hard to keep them out where you live. 23 bugs is one bug too many!

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  5. Kat,

    The problem with the stink bugs is that there are no natural predators to them. Someone brought them in from China and they are very resistant to any kind of poison or repellant. They are a problem for everyone around here, and in surrounding states. It seems they are spreading. The bright side is, they say that much as the elder bugs moved in and drove everyone crazy a few years ago and then disappeared again, that these fellows will likely be gone one day just as they came.


    But you would have the Wachter gang to hunt them down for you! Tea in the garden and a fire in the wood stove whenever your heart desires have to be some enticement… maybe?



  6. You have me laughing over here... so funny to read. :)