February 24, 2011

I Wish That Just Once

... Last night I had the pleasure of sitting and visiting with a friend for several hours over a home cooked meal and dessert.  I knew, when she asked to get together, something was on her mind and I had a pretty good guess where it was going.

It didn't take long for me to sadly realize, I was right on target with my assumption.

As so often is the case when a mother comes to me for counseling, my friend was desperate for some way to reach her child... who has gone astray from everything they set out for when he was born... leading to poor decisions and self-destructive behaviors... that have left them fearing for his life.

I offered her what little bit of advice I could:  Get back to church, show God is real in your life, cut off the friends who have so poorly influenced him, spend time with him, get rid of television and worldly music and most of all let him know through your words and actions that you love him above all else in this world.  I sent her home with referrals to some good resources and the promise to pray for their family.  If only I thought any of it would truly help at this late stage of the game.

I wish that just once,while their children were still young and pliable, before they were on drugs, in jail, pregnant or worse that mothers would ask me how to keep their children's hearts and lead them to a life full of loving and serving the Lord above all else.

I would tell them to firmly figure out what they believe and never waiver from it.

I would tell them to LOVE the Word.

Then I would tell them to LIVE the Word.

I would tell them that there is nothing greater they can do for their children than to just spend time with them.  Even if it means sacrificing their own will, desire, and goals.  Sometimes it might mean being poor or nothing more than a housewife or home school mom.  I would tell them that nothing will bring them greater joy than the results of such a "sacrifice".

I would tell them to get into a good church where their children can see you aren't the only parent who thinks this way or that.  I would tell them not to just accept the youth group or Sunday school class as the right place for your child.  I would make sure they knew that the influences there can sometimes be as destructive as those in the world.  I would tell them to scrutinize the friends their children keep at church just as carefully as they would friends from school.  

I would tell them your kids DON'T NEED FRIENDS.  That lie is straight from the devil himself and, for the most part, friends are the cause of the most destructive behaviors and attitudes our children will ever struggle with.

I would tell them, that it might not be "YOUR" thing.  It might not be easy.  It might take a lot of time.  It might mean living in a smaller house.  Wearing clothes from good will and eating the discounted chicken night after night.  I wouldn't stop talking until they knew there is no greater gift you could give to your children than to follow the Bible's command to bring them home from school, teach them and raise them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord... away from the lies of the world and the negative influences that are destroying entire generations, even within the Christian community.

I would tell them, even though it is unfortunately common, rebellion is not normal, acceptable or an inevitable part of the teenage years.

I would tell them to love their husband with all their heart.  To honor and obey him with all their fiber.  To stop whining.  To stop complaining.  To grow up and accept life, no matter what, with joy.

Just for a start, that's what I would tell them.  If only once someone would ask... before it was too late.


  1. I will pray for your friend - it sound like something horrible has happened, that is not easily changed.

    Love you!

  2. it saddens me to read this post. because everything you mentioned, just seems like common sense to me, nothing out of the ordinary. but a great most, nonetheless. hope things turn out for your friend.