January 10, 2013

Caught Off Guard

Since January 1st there has been a common theme in all of my daily study.

"... The Lord preserveth the simple..."  Psalm 116:5-6

"For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day."  2 Corinthians 4:16

"Wait on the Lord:  be of good courage and he shall strengthen thine heart: Wait, I say, on the Lord."  Psalm 27:14

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart:  and ye shall find rest unto your souls."  Matthew 11:29

"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up."  James 4:10

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep:  for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety."  Psalm 4:8

"And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you; I have made, and I will bear even I will carry, and will deliver you."  Isaiah 46:4

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away."  Revelation 21:4

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.  Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?  I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."  Isaiah 43:18-19

On January 3rd I claimed Isaiah 40:31 as my verse for 2013.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles they shall run and not be weary  and they shall walk and not faint. 
I don't know about you, but when the Lord keeps bringing verses like that before me I begin to wonder what is coming my way and what wonderful thing is the Lord going to do.

Being a diabetic means lots of testing and watching and fussing during pregnancy.  Mostly, I think it is unnecessary and rather annoying.  However, we've come to accept it as a necessary evil to get the high level of care we do need to keep my blood sugar in check and help ensure healthy pregnancies, healthy deliveries and healthy babies.

One of the many tests we sit through ranging from 2 per week to 1 every 1,2, 3 or 4 weeks starting at nine weeks of pregnancy is the ultrasound.  I have literally had so many sonograms over the years I could not begin to count them.  I am guessing, and purely guessing, I've had about one hundred... give or take a few, but not many.  The neat side of this is seeing constant images of your baby while they grow and change from week to week really makes you feel even more connected... if that's even possible... to feel more connected, I mean.  When Elisabeth was born, I didn't know if she was a girl or a boy but I knew exactly what she would look like.  I periodically still glance at one of her profile pictures from an ultrasound and think how amazing it is that it looks just like her.

That's the fun side.  But mostly these things are just a waste of time, if you ask my opinion.  But we have arrived at a place of compromise with our caregivers as to what we will and won't do and what they will and won't do and this is a place of compromise that works for all of us.

One of the complications with diabetes are congenital defects caused by high glucose prior to conception and during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.  I have always worked hard to keep my blood sugar within normal range and we have never been concerned about the effects of diabetes on our unborn children.  As has been the case through all our pregnancies my A1C was in excellent range at the start of pregnancy,  5.4 which is the same as a non diabetic.  And so, even though most of my pregnancies have had complications and been high risk I have always assumed that in the end all will be okay.

But because the heart is often a place where diabetes takes its course on an unborn baby, our doctors always request a fetal echo study at 20ish weeks.  Going into our check up Tuesday at 21 weeks I didn't give it another thought aside from the fact that the day was beautiful and I hoped we didn't have to wait too long because I'd really like to get home for a run before dark.

How very foolish I was.  As the sonogram tech did her study we chatted, as we always do.  A time came though when I knew something was up.  She stopped talking and kept going back to the heart and making notes.  I've sat through enough of these over the years to know that isn't standard protocol.

She left the room and my specialist came in.  Dr. H. quickly scanned over our Henry, asked about my glucose, typed a lot and left the room.

That's when two, not the standard one, prenatal/pediatric cardiologists came into the room with the technician.  While one doctor tried to distract us, he was so very kind, the other talked with the tech in code that said to us, "I may have no idea what they are talking about but they are looking for something."   As we probed into what was wrong and what were they looking for they spent a long time, maybe 45 minutes, trying to disprove their suspicions that Henry has a hole in his Ventricular Septum.  They could not.
See the black circle in the center of the picture? That is his heart. And the white line going across is the wall between the two chambers. The break in the line is the uncertain area that could either have just been not picked up by the sonogram or is a hole between the two chambers. 
And this is what it means.  Best case scenario... It may be a deficiency in the sonogram or worst case scenario Henry has Ventricular Septal Deffect.  The good news.  If he does it will not affect him during pregnancy or in the first few weeks following birth.  Best case scenario it may grow smaller between now and then.  Best case scenario he lives with it and we see no complications.  Worst case scenario around 1 month of age it may become a serious condition.  Worst case scenario that condition may require heart surgery by six months of age.

And that is so many unknowns we aren't even sure how to pray.  But we ask you to join us.  We are praying that if there is indeed a hole where it appears to be the Lord will simply close it.  We are praying that regardless of the Lord's will, when we return for a followup study next month doctors will be able to clearly confirm the diagnosis one way or the other so that we will be able to make whatever preparations are necessary.  We are praying that through this the Lord will strengthen the faith of our family and the bonds of our church.  And I am personally asking that the Lord use this as a time to show His strength to any and all who need to see His power.
Wait on the Lord:  be of good courage and he shall strengthen thine heart:...   Psalm 27:14

14 comments :

  1. What a beautiful life verse you have chosen for this year friend - and how encouraging to know that God was preparing you for the uncertainties and challenges that lie ahead. You and little Henry have constantly been in my thoughts and prayers and will be even more so from now on!

    Many hugs,

    Julianne

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    1. Hi, sweetie.

      Yes, He is so good to prepare us for the fire. Thank you for your prayers. They are a constant source of encouragement to our family.

      Love,

      Kat

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  2. It has been on my heart to pray for your Henry every morning this month, and now I know what I am praying for...What a blessing that you had to be getting sonograms already, and that they were able to catch this and be able to keep an eye on things. One of the holes in Mackenzie's heart was in almost exactly that same place...
    Hugs to you, friend

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    1. The Lord is so good to provide people to pray before we even know the need. Thank you for your faithfulness. Your encouragement is such a gift to us as is knowing how healthy and strong Little M is.

      Love back to you,

      Kat

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  3. Also wanted to let you know that we have a very wonderful christian pediatric cardiologist if needed...

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    1. Hi, Joanna.

      Thank you! If things go as we suspect on the fourth I will be in touch to get that information from you. We will need to have someone in place by delivery if we want to use someone else. It is always such a great comfort to us when we can find good providers who are Christians.

      Hugs,

      Kat

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  4. Wow. Diabetes during pregnancy a blessing...who would have thought? We'll be praying for you and little Henry.

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    1. Yeah, really. Who would guess. ☺ But then we should have since the Lord promises to use all for His good and glory, Amen?

      Love to the family,

      Kat

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  5. You've been on my heart a lot this week and I've been praying for you. We will continue to keep you and Henry... and all of you, in our prayers. Much love!

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    1. Thank you! God is so good to give us the brethren to offer prayer support.

      Love to you,

      Kathleen

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    2. I just received your email with this post! This morning God showed me Psalm 27:14 in my personal study. Isn't God great in confirming his word!

      I will be praying for you and little Henry.

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    3. Hi, Kelly.

      I am always amazed at how God gives us just what we need to hear each and every moment if we are diligent to apply ourselves to the study of His word. Thank you for sharing with us and for your prayers for Henry.

      Love,

      Mrs. W

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  6. Your family and Henry are in my prayers. I hope you get some answers soon so you can be prepared. What a blessing, with our fifth the doctors weren't happy with my refusal for certain tests either.

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    1. Hi, Jenny.

      Well, doctors get over it. We've been with our docs for so long that they know us well and they know our beliefs. It is funny because their staff makes a big fuss over needing this or that and I no longer have to say a word...the doctor intervenes and tells them what it will be.

      Thank you so much for your prayers. It is the prayers of our brethren that has seen us through so much these last two years.

      Hugs,

      Kat

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